The Dance Pilgrim

Fig. 1: With peers Wong Kit Yaw, Mohd Seth Hamzah in the opening of Menempa Tari Tradisi. 2022. 

I am Dean of the Faculty of Dance at the National Academy of Arts, Culture and Heritage Malaysia, (Akademi Seni Budaya dan Warisan Kebangsaan) better known by its acronym of ASWARA. Although I have done this work since 1998, it is still seems surreal because the journey has been completely unexpected. 

I never aspired to become a performer or choreographer or pursue a career in the field of performing arts although my involvement began incidentally at the age of 10 when my La Salle Primary School, Petaling Jaya (LSPJ) teacher, Celine Vincent organized end-of-the-year performances in the classroom. We had to draw, paint, practice elocution and create short skits that nurtured our creativity, collaborative and leadership skills. However, I suspect it was primarily designed to keep 40 boys occupied and out of mischief! This introduction to theatre grew to become a large part of my school-life and I participated in public speaking, acting and directing plays with a passion that was fuelled by my need for attention rather than the art itself!

Fig. 2: No idea what this was! But LSPJ was fantastic. Pictured here are Raymond Maniam and Diane Teh Wee Wee. 1978. 

My early education focused on the sciences which led me to a degree in Mathematics at the University of Malaya. Securing a place at a local university despite Malaysia's quota systems for those of Indian ethnicity, was considered an achievement. However, I call them the "dark years" (although I made life-long friends) experiencing first hand Malaysia's racial policies which were completely non-existent in my school years. On the positive side, I became more introspective and reflective. I knew that I needed to do something more fulfilling with life but I did not have a clue as to what that would be. The strongest influences in my youth were Sebastian Vincent, my math and physics teacher (who was coincidentally, the husband of the aforementioned teacher), Bro. Felix Donohue, the headmaster of LSPJ, as well as Frs. Peter Kim Se-mang and Steve Subramaniam, the Jesuits priests of St. Francis Xavier's Church Petaling Jaya. The youth (and I) were able to relate to these inspirational human beings because they spoke about issues that resonated with us. In hindsight, I am astounded by their generosity of spirit, time, and the desire to nurture. From here, one life-long lesson I learned was that it was important to have a dream – and not just any dream, but a big dream of the grandest life possible. These men of faith taught me to question, to reflect and to discover my full potential. The goal of life was to be the best that I could be, and in the pursuit of this dream, never to be afraid of failure. "Mistakes" were an opportunity to learn and to grow. These formative years were filled with an inspirational diet of films and music such as Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, or John Lennon’s Imagine, so on. I realize how special those years were.

            I am the youngest of 10 children that my father had, and 7 that he had with my mother. However, since the age difference between my closest brother and I is 10 years, I developed meaningful relationships with classmates, the Catholic church community, and my nephews and nieces. Then in my early 20s, most of my closest friends left to pursue tertiary education overseas. This left me feeling lost and empty. It was perhaps this loneliness that gave birth to a wanderlust, to experience new places and cultures. Nevertheless, the financial situation of my family only allowed for trips to Morib, and to relatives in Singapore. While at University of Malaya, I discovered KESUMA (Kesenian Universiti Malaya), a traditional dance troupe that regularly performed overseas. Up to this point, aside from a few forays to local discotheques, and the 1970s trend of house parties, I had never danced. With courage and perhaps in a moment of madness, I went to the KESUMA audition. This was the first moment of divine intervention in my life. There I was told that I was brilliantly talented (which I did not believe), and that I reminded everyone of one Prof. Dr. Mohd Ghouse Nasuruddin, who I later learned was the esteemed dancer-scholar from University Science Malaysia. I was accepted to the group, and in 6 months I was off to Thailand and then Hong Kong. Incidentally, I was given lead parts in many productions that I did not understand, appreciate or cherish (one choreographed by Mohd Anis Md Nor, and Norliza Rofli was a member of this group who is mentioned here because of the serendipitous way they resurface in my life later) and the lack of dance photographs at that time, is testament to the fact that we lived in a less digital world, and that dance was, at that time, merely a means to an end. 

Fig. 3: Prof Dr. Mohd Anis, Tan Sri Norliza Rofli and Prof. Dr. Mohd Nasir at the book launch of Dancing Mosaic. 2013.

In this time a group of dynamic English majors at the University of Malaya - Leslie Leon, Gilbert Almeida and Gerald Martinez, wrote and staged a musical Spirits of the Night. I auditioned and was cast as ‘The Student’ where I had to sing and dance. They employed a choreographer but after one rehearsal, I arrogantly thought I could do a better job of creating a dance piece for myself, and I did! If the writer-directors thought I was insolent or abbrasive, they never said so and allowed me this space. It was probably a terrible choreography but I loved it and was consumed by the process. During this time, my KESUMA dance teacher, Uncle Bob convinced me that I may truly have a gift, and that I should try ballet, jazz, and modern dance. This was impressively forward-thinking for a 65-year-old Malay man. I subsequently learned that Uncle Bob was the legendary Malaysian traditional dancer-teacher, Said Manap! I was blessed with great teachers from the get-go. Thus I enrolled in ballet class, ready to be humiliated in tights and dance with 10-year-olds at the Frances Ballet Academy, run by Frances Teoh, who was one of Malaysia’s pioneers of modern dance and ballet. Later, when Teoh left Malaysia for a few years, her classes were taken over by Suzan Manen who had returned from London after training at the Royal Academy of Dance. It was also here that I met the iconic Ramli Ibrahim and suffered through several rehearsals with him. I was not ready for Graham contractions and dancing contemporary dance to P. Ramlee's music. I then transferred to the Federal Academy of Ballet where at the tender age of 24, I took my Grade 4 ISTD ballet exam and obtained an Honours mark under the tutelage of Elsie Mak. It was an unbelievable elation of accomplishment and satisfaction. By this time I had started performing regularly on television, making music videos, and backing-up recording artists such as Francesca Peters, Sahara Yaacob, Salwah Abdul Rahman, and so on. 

Fig. 4: With Vik Sivalingam, David Lee and Tilly Wong (below) for KLDT. 1984.

I strengthened my training in ballet, jazz, tap and Broadway styles by learning from the most popular and successful teachers at that time – Peter Choo and Lydia Loo. I worked hard and loved every minute of it but still did not think it would a lifelong career. I continued with dance exams, passing everything with flying colours which was possibly due to a shortage of male dance candidates! My classmates included Vik Sivalingam, Choo Tee Kuang, Low Ming Yam, David Lee and Ungku Abdul Majid (known professionally as Unku) who all went on have long careers in dance and theatre, both in Malaysia and abroad. Malaysia suffered a recession in the mid-80s, and many university graduates were unemployed. I grabbed the only job I got – as a professional dancer in Malaysia’s first full-time contemporary jazz dance company, the St. Moritz Gold Band Dancers managed by Zabedah Vessey and Marina Beaumont and funded by Rothman's. We performed challenging repertoire of Broadway classics, contemporary and jazz routines that were choreographed by Tan Pek Khuan who had graduated from Laine Theatre Arts in England.  

At the end of the contract, my passion was fueled more intensely. I knew that if I wanted to be better at this, I would have to dance with the best. For me (and the others in the company), there was no sense of achievement in being a big fish in a small pond. I wrote hundreds of letters, prepared a portfolio, and promo photographs, did my SATs and TOEFL exams, and managed to obtain a place in an American university with a partial scholarship as well as a trial in England with a recommendation from Lee Lee Lan. I choose England and had to prove in one month that I deserved a scholarship. I ended up staying for 3 years and the value of that education was approximately RM 100,000. My family was appalled and tried to dissuade me from pursuing what they thought was a frivolous past-time but I was adamant. I believe that my parents’ legacy in inculcating the virtue of hard work as the path to success was channeled into this pursuit, and the shame was (for them) was it was not a path they approved of. However, these principles served me well. I acquired numerous certificates in musical theatre, tap dance, European folk dancing, ballet and contemporary dance, teaching courses, and dreamed of dancing with Dance Theatre of Harlem or the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre in New York which were only companies that hired non-white dancers. I was probably never good enough and this dream never saw the light of day due in part that I was unable to obtain a visa to enter the United States. However, always one to set goals, I wanted the next best thing for myself which was to perform on a West End stage and achieve this by the time I was 30 years old.

There were many experiences in this period that were painful. The quest to find employment necessitated being in and out of auditions every week, sometimes being asked to leave only after standing in line with 400 other auditionees, or getting down to the final few, feeling hopeful only to have hopes crushed, is an incredibly traumatic experience. It required superhuman strength to get up and do the very same thing the next day. This kind of experience can never be understood unless one actually lives it. I constantly doubted my abilities, questioned the wisdom of my choices, felt invisible and not to mention being penniless, has served to make me strong. The agony of rejection has made me what I am today. Not many Malaysian artists have been through this character-defining process. I know now that nothing will ever crush me. I seriously recommend this to all young students. I will not elaborate further, but suffice to say that I did get a job in Ronnie S. Lee’s West End and UK National Tour production of The King and I, and signed the contract before I turned 30. Dreams come true!  

Fig. 5: The poster of The King & I, UK Tour. 1991. 

I was over the moon. I cannot imagine how I did 8 shows a week of the exact same repertoire for more than a year, keeping the excitement and motivation. It was an unbelievable time and it seemed that all that previous pain was washed away. The show was choreographed by Yuriko, one of the pioneers of the Martha Graham Dance Company after Jerome Robbins, and to receive instruction and praise from these illuminaries of dance history, made all the earlier challenges worthwhile. After doing a few projects post-West End, I decided to return home to Malaysia, due in part to an aging mother and having had a sense of fulfillment. In 1992, I began teaching at the Federal Academy of Ballet (FAB). It was a wonderful job. I taught children to seniors everything from ballet to jazz as well as dance for the differently-abled. I used every opportunity to choreograph and worked intensively with the first group of full-time diploma students. I slowly added another layer to my knowledge and skills as a choreographer.

While I loved it, I was also aware that in dance, working at FAB could not possibly be a long term career pathway. There were many limitations and I did not posess the business acumen to open my own ballet school. Further, there were only a few professional opportunites to perform in Malaysia and I was getting older. Remembering the lessons of my youth, I decided to explore avenues to exploit my other untried and untested talents. In 1994, I landed two part-time contracts in television and radio, reading the news and presenting sports programs such as the English Premier League. This could have been a global first for a dancer! My passion for sports, and coming from a sporting family background (my sister was a 1965 SEAP Games gold and silver medalist, and my brother-in-law a four-time Olympian, national hockey player) stood me in good stead. This phenomenal alternate career included Time Highway Radio, Talk Radio, ASTRO Supersports, Sports Saturday, World Cup of Football, the Olympics, Winter Olympics, and Commonwealth Games. This further led to several seasons of Aatam 100 Vagai, Mari Menari and Sehati Berdansa as a judge on reality TV for dance!  

 At this time, another life defining moment occurred. Was it the hand of God, fate, karma or whatever one believes, that led me to take a drive down nostalgia lane? I ambled along aimlessly through the corridors of University of Malaya, and into the KESUMA studios where it all began. It was  desolate, but I fondly recalled those times and reflected on my life’s decisions. Most unexpectedly, I bumped into Mohd Anis Md Nor who bellowed out "Joseph, I have been looking for you!” He explained that the Government of Malaysia wanted to establish a full-time academy for performing arts and asked if I would like to be one of its lecturers. Was it serendipity, destiny, good karma, fortuitous, manifestation? I have no idea but one week later, I was in his living room discussing the syllabus for dance education with Sunetra Fernando, Suhaimi Magi, Aida Redza, Ridzwan Salam, Dayang Mariana, and Lena Ang with Norliza Rofli was the first Registrar! 

Fig. 6. Registration of the First Cohort of ASK students and staff. 10 July 1994.

Thus began another chapter filled with glorious experiences and I was appointed the first full-time Dean  in 1998. Fast forward to 2015 and here I am, 45 years after my first play, and 21 years since the establishment of ASK/ASWARA. For 18 years at ASWARA, I faced many challenges, but also witnessed many incredible talents that came through our doors, and with the faculty helped shape them, and gave them wings to fly. I felt I achieved all that I could and thus, when opportunity came knocking on 18 August 2016, I left for Hong Kong to assume the role as Head of Academic Studies and the MFA Program at The Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts (HKAPA). This will be a story for another day.  

Today, on the 31 August 2024, I end my 8 year tenure in Hong Kong. I am still on a journey, embracing the highs and lows of life. Ever the dance pilgrim ... ever grateful.  

Fig. 7: Farewell dinner with School of Dance. 2024.